I considered calling this piece ‘Second Childhood’ but I figured that might be a little obvious, so I settled on ‘Hopscotch’ which is an even more obvious choice but I like how the word sounds. Hopscotch! Then, I wondered why the game is called ‘Hopscotch’. I get the hop part but not the scotch part. Maybe before it turned into a child’s game it was a drunkard’s game? I don’t think that’s coffee in her cup.
The Infallible Tippy Gordon. 18″x24″, oil on canvas. Sold.
The part that really gets me is that she’s managed to do it all in high heels. It’s almost inconceivable. When I was in California last September, I lost my mind for a few minutes in Saks and bought a lovely pair of stilettos. I reasoned that they will never go out of style since they are the equivalent of the little black dress but I hadn’t really considered how well I would be able to walk in them. Why would I? All the ladies around us were gliding by with little to no effort to stay upright. I have since discovered that I can only use them for short flat distances (no cobblestones, grass or uneven patios) and only when supported by John- which means using the ladies room can get awkward. Most troubling is that I have yet to work out a way to replace the pained and unflattering grimace that takes over my face during these short distances with something more aesthetically pleasing.
The Kidnapping Of Edward Pink. Part Three. Oil on canvas, 8″x10″. For sale on etsy.
I know the day is coming when I will have to explain why and how Edward Pink has been kidnapped. Does this mysterious brunette have unnatural superhuman strength? Is she blackmailing him? How is she able to keep him under her thumb so easily? And now there’s a Spaniel involved. The prequel to this story is coming soon.
They own a candy cane factory, possibly a candy cane empire.
They have a raccoon stalker problem.
The same raccoon has just taken several candy cane blows to the head.
They are inadvertent litterbugs.
They have a long standing rivalry with the Spearmint Family. I imagine that when their paths cross on lightly snow-dusted streets there’s some pretty bad tinsel talk followed by some mitten slapping and some pretty ruthless turtleneck pulling.
John feels that only I can take a sweet Christmas loving family and turn them into the Corleones.
I really have a thing for surnames that start with the letter M. Miss Moon, Mademoiselle Mink, Miss Mews and now Miss Masters. It’s getting weird.
Miss Masters actually has a small part in Lucy Crisp And The Vanishing House. She pops up later in the story and her role is pretty much what you see here- a portrait painting with a twist- naturally. Speaking of which, I hope to have the second chapter ready for early December.
Shaded Stars, The Home For Retired Showgirls. 20″x24″, oil on canvas. Sold
The other day as I was printing out a ‘Tallulah Shaw Rehearses Before Her Final Show. 1959‘ print, I found myself a little sad. What happens to the Tallulahs of the world after they retire from showbiz? Do they end up eating soup and crackers in a dimly lit studio apartment somewhere south of horrible? Or, do they go someplace very special? In Janetland, it has to be special. So here are a few retirees enjoying their semi-retirement….they don’t let go of those costumes too easily.
You may notice that I used the term ‘showgirls’ loosely as there is at least one or two circus ladies in attendance.
It took every ounce of self-control that I could muster to not correct her neck. I’m really not a stickler for proper proportioning…. you know it. I have huge heads, elongated arms, one leg longer than the other etc etc, but that neck was hard for me. I toned it down a lot, and now she’s just a ballerina in Swan Lake rather than a real swan. Swans are vicious anyway. Are ballerinas?
The Kidnapping Of Edward Pink. Part Two. 8″x10″, oil on canvas. For sale on etsy.
John has informed me that this is a truly ridiculous painting. However he keeps looking at it and smiling so I just think he’s jealous that he’s not Edward Pink with all of his problems. So there you go, Edward Pink is still being kidnapped but he’s no longer on a sailboat, rather a speedboat somewhere south of someplace beautiful.
At The Ursula Academy For The Supernaturally Gifted, Fawn Fielding Enjoyed Medieval Poetry, Spoke Fluent Italian, And Possessed Above Average Telekinetic Abilities. 16″x20″, oil on canvas. Sold.
I think I should do more paintings of this strange Ursula Academy. It seems pretty rich for the storytelling if you ask me. This is actually born out of a scary experience for me when I was young. I have this memory of turning on the television in the middle of the afternoon- likely on a Saturday. I seem to recall that I was enjoying a grape freezie and wearing my pink jelly shoes, but that could be my imagination just playing games on me. I likely did some channel surfing with one of those clunky looking channel changers circa 1985 until I came across this weird movie. There was a girl with big curly hair moving things with her mind. WITH HER MIND!! This terrified me but I didn’t understand why. I think I was familiar with the idea of telekinesis having spent many a bored afternoon focused on my Barbie trying to get it to move WITH MY MIND, but it must have been the way it was presented in the film. I mentioned this to John as I was painting this painting and he immediately recognized it as ‘The Fury’ which was directed by Brian De Palma. It all made sense. No one can creep me out as much as Brian De Palma, thank you very much. John also mentioned that we own the movie so guess what I’m going to do tonight. Perhaps I’ll watch it while enjoying a cool and refreshing grape freezie too.
I should also mention that my website is being re-designed so from time to time it may look weird. There’s testing and other web weirdness that will go on behind the scenes for the next few months. So if you visit and things are all over the place, don’t worry, it’s not permanent. Have a grape freezie and stay cool.
Time for some oils of well- coiffed ladies painted on canvas panels. They are small-ish and flat and can likely pop into a standard frame if you so wish. They are available in my ‘originals’ section in my shop right NOW!
To Catch A Cashew Thief, 12″x16″. Oil on canvas, for sale on etsy.
I’m just continuing with my theme of unwanted guests. Lions, oversized ladybugs and now a great big nuisance elephant. I just wonder if she happened to walk in on the thief stealing cashews or if she set him up with the extra full bowl of cashews. She looks a tad conniving so I’m going with the latter.
Oh, and I also wanted to say that I really like her pants. I wish they were mine.
Great Ladybug, oil on canvas, 11″x14″. For sale on etsy.
I could be wrong but she might be the same lady featured in my ‘Houseguest’ painting. The one with the lion on her couch. She’s in a different living room, so possibly we have time traveled back to her first apartment, but I think it’s the same lady. Different day, different guest, same problem.