This is clearly going to be one of those posts that will only be entertaining to those involved- everyone else will just think….’Huh?’.   But I’m posting this anyway so please bear with me.  Last year I made a ‘Monster Lobster’ movie poster for my husband’s birthday.  John is a big movie guy and we find ourselves spending an unhealthy amount of time watching films, talking about films, and pretending to make our own films.  This never goes beyond the talking about it phase- which makes us big useless geeks.  This year, I was busy trying to decide what one of our ‘fake films’ to make a poster about when I happened upon an old photograph of my best friend Karen.  It’s not as creepy as it sounds:  this happened at her parents’ place, after a glass or two of wine.  The trip down memory lane started because I couldn’t imagine Karen as a child.  She is one of those people who just appear to have come into this world as an adult- now there’s a theme for an interesting film.  And so Karen’s mom took out a photo album full of little Karens.  But it was the picture of her sitting at a little chalkboard writing her name wearing a pink dress and red tights that triggered my imagination.  I think it was the slightly menacing and vacant look in her eyes that captivated me and made me think instantly of a demonic child movie- possibly similar to the Omen.  And so I created this movie poster for my husband and Karen- as their birthdays fall within a couple days of each other.

A few more Karen facts:  She is incredibly smart….the kind of smart that makes you a little scared of her.  The kind of smart that allowed her to skip most of her calculus classes in University and spend only an hour or two studying before the final and still somehow end up on the Dean’s List.   She’s also gullible which is an odd trait for a criminal lawyer.  She may want to argue this, but the very fact that I managed to trick her repeatedly into coming on dates with me with someone that I didn’t want to be dating- just to act as a buffer, proves that she’s a little naive.  The quick explanation for my manipulation was that I was trying to make the boy that I really liked jealous and so I dated someone just to spite him.  Yes, I dated out of spite.  The only problem was that I couldn’t stand the person that I was dating and didn’t want to be alone with him and so I would invite Karen along.  Every time she thought that she was just meeting me for dinner, or drinks, she would quickly discover that she was a third wheel.  Making the whole situation even more ridiculous was that my date and Karen hated each other and argued the entire time.  The last Karen fact is that she truly rocks the Anna Wintour bob hairstyle which few women can.  Up until about six months ago her hair was long-ish and red.  Nice enough and it suited her just fine, but then she went off and had it cut off and shaped into the super stylish bob and coloured dark brown- eerily similar to the hairstyle that she has in the picture- although darker and more blunt.  A brave move which a lessor woman would have been too chicken to do.  I’m very jealous of her hair and sometimes wish that I didn’t have my unruly Irish Protestant hair so that I could copy her.

Love you Karen!

6 Responses to “Karen”

  1. I adore it so very, very much! It still makes me laugh every time I see it!

    Also, in my defence, I was very young when I was tricked into going on your dates. I (hope I’m) not that naive any more!

    Love you, too!

  2. Another hilariously devilish poster! I dunno, tho, something makes me suspect that you might have been a bit of the bad seed child yourself! 🙂

  3. Karen proved herself a best friend when she drove in the middle of the night from the east end of TO to Brampton to console Janet after a loser cheating boyfriend incident.
    And Janet as child was an angel – or so I thought. It wasn’t until the teen years that this other side began to emerge but I guess it was there simmering all along. As recent anecdotes confirm.

    • Mom! Seriously? Do you have to bring that up? Good grief. I’m coming over right now to take that flipping iphone away from you. And fyi most people don’t know what TO stands for or where Brampton is.


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